Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Creativity Portal 365 Days Photo Response - March 31, 2009

March 31, 2009
Like seeds, ideas fall into the soil of the winter of our lives; yet germination is occurring even when all looks lifeless. What ideas have been taking root in your personal winter that are now ready to spring forth? You're invited to create a mandala* (or other visual) that symbolizes the energy of those ideas, and allow that image to fuel you toward bringing your ideas into form. Spring forth!*A mandala is a circle—a circle which you make sacred with your intention as you create inside the circle.

Well geesh - I can't write in a circle here. I'm just gonna write and forget the circle stuff for now.

Maybe I'll just put a bunch of words together that are my ideas.
sleeper, Osage, earthquakes, love, romance, writing, divine, triggers, Irish, reincarnation, seventh son, young adults, do it till you get it right, black girls, buses, running bear, read Jane, it all goes wrong, it comes out right, caves, earth, gemstones, what's the key?, where does it start?, circle, sleeper

I was so looking forward to writing something more meaningful today. Maybe I should. I will.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Creativity Portal 365 Days Photo Response - March 30, 2009

March 30, 2009

This young tom has found a place to park himself, but is it a refuge or is it a dangerous spot?
First I need to describe the picture. It's a yellow cat sitting between two wheels of a tractor trailer.

It's not raining. It's not snowing. There are no "big bad dogs" in the photo chasing him. I don't even see a pound catcher chasing them. He's just sitting patiently, as if saying, "I'm waiting. Take the photo now please so I can move along." So I don't think it is a refuge. There is no threat or fear shown.

I tend to think more that it might be a dangerous spot. I can't tell if the truck is on or off. It's sitting but is it getting ready to move? Does the driver know he is there? Isn't a cat smart enough to move if he hears the engine start?

So let's make it a similie. I'm like the cat sitting between the tires. I'm peaceful, relaxed and content. Yet stagnant. Still. Although I could be observing from a distance. Observing would be good. But I am not a sitter. I am a doer. Observing can be such a great tool and I need to use that more. I'm just so much more inclined to take action, whether it be preventative or trying to accomplish something.

As the cat, could I be in a dangerous spot? No. That's what the observing is for. Watch, listen, see, let it all gel together in my mind and then move when the danger comes close. Danger of getting run over, danger of getting hurt, danger of being too content.
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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Creativity Portal Prompt Generator 3, March 29, 2009

Without my life partner, I'd...

I want to rephrase that. Without my husband I'd . . .

saying die isn't enough. There's so much more to it than that.

Words that come to mind:
wither like a potato left in the dark moldy bin too long
or an apple infested with worms laying on the brown Fall grass in the heat

waste from lack of thought, emotion, or desire

shrink and avoid the cruel world that is so heartless and complacent and too speedy for it's own good

starve (that one is just funny)

inky darkness would seep into my visions and dreams - they would become gray even in the middle where they shine the brightest

crumble like the foundation of an old farm house

sink into the nothingness of darkness

I'd loose
my best friend, my hope, my heart, my mind.
Screams would become so commonplace. I wonder if you can just keep screaming in your mind after the sound no longer comes out?

I'd loose
my laughter and my view on silly things,
my warmth in a winter bed made with flannel sheets and a down comforter,
my dreams, because my future always shows him in it. Standing next to me. Supporting me. Silently hoping that I reach, try and grow.

I'd forget the reason for a sunrise or a new day. I'd forget the reason for beauty in the world. I'd forget there had ever been song. Or light.

Pain would be a like a lecherous high school friend. I would have pain that I couldn't let go because it would be the only thing that I had left. Even though I knew it was bad for me. As comforting as a piece of barb wire. It's the only thing to feel to let me know I was still, unfortunately, alive.

Nightmares - seamless flows of terror, emptiness, and aloneness.
The world would loose me because I had lost him.

Geez - I better not ever have to be without him.
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Creativity Portal Prompt Generator 2 - March 29, 2009

One thing I want to learn right now is...

I have to limit it to one??? No way.
Welding, stained glass creating, how to get published.

I want to learn about welding because the thought of creating something out of hard metal seems so complex but at the same time so satisfying. It would last a long time. Plus, you can build bigger and really make a statement. Say, "I was here." But the key word is build. Make it grow. Make something beautiful out of something ugly.

Stained glass - what a beautiful idea. Rainbows of color while using the sun's light to make it sparkle. Cutting glass into curved shapes. Glass that is hard to cut, yet done with precision and perfection. Putting the pieces together to make a whole. The fitting. The shaping. The piecing.

I want to be a better writer. I practice with these prompts and story starters. Dig deeper into myself and find reasons why. Search. Find. Share. Spread the love of words. Words that take you to another place. Make a movie in your mind. Make you feel like you are there. Connect. I am happy writing. Plus I love big projects and having a purpose.

Is there more? You bet. Play the drums. Play guitar. Take better pictures. Geology. Gemology. I don't think I will ever loose the desire to learn.
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Creativity Portal Prompt Generator - March 29, 2009

Describe a typical day during your Jr. High years.

Oh yuck and yikes. That's way back there.

I would ride the bus for 10 minutes. Most notable classes were math (algebra) that was taught by that young woman teacher that I was sure all the boys loved. I remember English class - studying spelling - the word was worchestshire (as in the sauce). I remember science - biology - which was so hard for me. I mostly remember the hard classes. But I do remember shop class - making plastic rings, the clock, the wall sconce, the wooden heart with the arrow through it that we had to soak in water to get through. And music class with all my girlfriends.

Mostly I remember boys, music and friends. Dances. Kisses. (How awkward) Unreturned liking at times (why DIDN'T they like me???) Boys who would have walked on water for me - others who didn't notice I exsisted. I had old friends and new friends. I liked the ones I could trust the most. Those were usually the old friends.

Phil Heine - how do you forget a name like heiney, as in butt?
Combs in our back pockets at the roller rink - oh that stinky smell. Puke and oil and wax and popcorn.

Catastrophes - being on crutches - I don't remember why??? Ankle something or other. Not being able to wear makeup for at least a week - my eyes had swollen up and turned red from using old mascara. THAT was horrible.
I visited the principal's office once. Something about a boy. I don't even remember what now.

I remember running in track. Fast. I was fast. And I was sooo tiny.

Jordache jeans. Nike tennis shoes. Candies shoes/clogs.

Talking on the phone for HOURS. Notes passed between friends and boyfriends. Folded in a little envelope shape so you could tuck in the corner. How did we do that?

Wide halls - doors for the classrooms were decorated for Christmas. Making popcorn and cranberry garland in social studies class. My fingers were stained and sore from the cranberries. I hung the garland on the tree at home.

I still have my journals from that time - I found one not too long ago. It was funny how it took me straight back. And I was happy I had recorded my thoughts from then so I could see who I was. I am more amazed at who I am now and the journey that occured in between. I don't know that I turned out how I would have thought. But if I would have glimpsed my current future in those year, I think I would still be happy in that thought.

I don't know that I had a typical day - boys and classes would be about all that was constant every day. It's funny because now I know why I couldn't find my perfect match during those years. He was in another state! :)
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Response to Creativity Portal 3/29/2009

March 29, 2009 Like a crystalline butterfly is our spiritual awakening rising?

Why are they asking yes/no questions? How can that inspire? Let's move on and try to get past the yes/no.

Yes. And no. I wouldn't consider myself any type of butterfly. Not social, not fluttering, definitely not crystalline. I'm too strong for that. I am not as fragile as I seem, unless we talk about love. But I keep that fragility deep inside my rough and tumble, humorous exterior. It takes a lot to pain me. But some have a straight avenue. I try to shield those cavities, what I would consider flaws, to mask the harm they can do. I suppose in that way, I am LIKE a butterfly - able to cocoon myself as the necessary time draws near.

Spiritual awakening rising? Hmm. Yes. Cycles of life. Patterns of life. We must remain dormant at times in order to be at peak for rising times. These visions lay in a deep sleep inside of us until we are capable of putting forth the effort and emotion necessary to complete the task. That is why we always can find more strength for those things that are hard to bear. It's always there. We just don't know it's full potential and our souls keep that extra reserve for moments such as those.

In our lives we have countless risings. Tempered by razings. Like the tide, our capacity for change moves in and out of our heart, rises and falls with the seasons, ebbs and flows with the years.

At this moment, I am rising. Biorhythms. The pattern of my life has been such that I will slowly decrease until the end of April and then will return with a fury, much like a spring tornado. It's a magical time, but a time to be planned for. A time when nothing seems impossible. A time to try that which I dare not at other times. For at that time, the world sings to me. I hear every note and rejoice. I see every color and feel it was put there just for me with the sun's ray to make it even more vibrant.

It's coming. I feel it. I need it. I crave it. And when it arrives I will drink in it's sweet taste until I have fulfilled my proverbial cup. And it will sustain me through darker times.
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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Response to Creativity Portal 3/28/2009

Creativity Portal prompt on 3.28.09 - Can't we all just get along?

No. We can't. Passion lives in all of us. Some of us are lucky enough to recognize it. Some of us are lucky enough to find what we are passionate about. Some just go through life hoping to find something they can be passionate about.

Unfortunately, that passion fuels a hunger, a need, a desire for the world to be what we want it to be. And we don't all have the same outlook on that. We all feel our way of seeing things has to be the right, good, and correct way.

The timing of this prompt really hits home for me. That place where your morals and beliefs live and fuel your passion inside can be met with uncompromising rigidity and iciness from the cold world outside. How painful. So you weep heartful silent tears down your cheeks that become nothing more than lukewarm shattered wishes as they face the frigid inflexibility of rules and edicts.

As long as individuality remains, peace can never be achieved. Compromise can be achieved through pain and sacrifice on both sides. But compromise is not ideal peace for either party.

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